Enjoy the silence

I work a lot with silence, one of the core things - along with confidentiality - that I discuss with clients at the start of every session. It's a reminder that this isn't the usual kind of conversation between two people with a polite balance of contributions; that it can go at a different pace and that there is permission for quiet spaces between us, with no fear of awkwardness.

I deepened my appreciation for the creative role that silence can play in the coaching relationship at a great masterclass hosted by the @AoEC Ireland and NI with Kay Young and John Gray.

The International Coaching Federation embeds silence in its coaching competencies, as part of being fully present and evoking awareness: Coaches should be able to “create or allow space for silence, pause or reflection” (Competency 5), and [to] facilitate client insight and learning by using tools and techniques such as powerful questioning, silence, metaphor or analogy.” (Competency 7)

It's a challenge in everyday life not to crowd out the silence and rush to fill it, and fascinating to notice what can emerge in this space as we pay attention to internal experiences and insights and allow thoughts to form unforced.

I'm reminded of an interview with jazz trumpeter Miles Davis who was quoted as saying that in improvisation the greatest challenge is “not to play all the notes you could play, but to wait, hesitate, let space become a part of the configuration.”

Footnote: in the week when we lost Andy Fletcher of Depeche Mode, take a moment to Enjoy The Silence