Preparing for presence: a coach’s perspective

At the beginning of a coaching engagement, I offer new clients - who may be coming to coaching for the first time - a short guide on how they might prepare . Recently, I came across a post by Erik de Haan, Director of the Centre for Coaching at Ashridge, giving a 'peek under the bonnet' at some of the elements that a coach might use to prepare for a coaching conversation. So it's perhaps useful to make more explicit what this process can look like: how we can intentionally design an environment that supports being present and that will allow attention to our clients to flow with ease.

Some of the practicalities are no less important that the intentions - it's harder to be present with a ticklish throat and no glass of water, a runny nose and no tissues to hand, a notification that catches our eye and draws us away from the present. A pen that’s a pleasure to write with; a couple of minutes looking out at the garden; a check-in of my physical comfort and my posture all build towards being an effective listener. Time before in preparation, and time afterwards in reflection are part of the whole coaching session for me and carved out in my calendar accordingly, so a 90 minute call with a client is blocked out as 120 minutes in my diary.

I often ask clients to consider what they need to put down to be fully present to our conversation as we begin. The same question forms part of my own preparation so I can put aside the echoes of lost shoes / packed lunches of most mornings, and the to-do lists of daily life.

The final question I ask myself in the moments before a coaching session begins is how I want to show up for this client. The answer is always the same: calm, curious, compassionate. But it's important to ask myself each and every time.